Throughout my life I’ve always heard jokes about my height, size, etc. and while it isn’t something that always bothered me, it is something that really began to at one point. I finally developed a serious eating disorder and at my lowest, weighed 87 pounds. The following is an excerpt from something I wrote at the time I was beginning recovery, trying to help my family and friends understand what was going on:
I have heard the following comments (or some version of each) from different people (friends, family, coworkers, and acquaintances):
- “You’re too thin!” (you can also replace thin with skinny, small, tiny, etc)
- “You need to gain some weight!”
- “Did you eat?” (or, “eat enough” “you need to eat more” “is that all you’re eating?”)
- “You need to eat a cheeseburger!” (or hamburger, pizza, or any other fattening sounding food)
- “You’re going to waste away!”
- “You’re the size of my leg!” (calf, arm, etc)
- “You don’t need to exercise, why would you want to lose weight?”
While I (absolutely) realize that these comments are made, often, without thought or realization that they could be hurtful, they are. Insert “fat” for thin or skinny in the above statements, is it OK to say to someone now? How about “salad” instead of cheeseburger, or “lose weight” instead of gain it? Of course not, that would be rude and hurtful! Especially since it happens to me on multiple occasions on a weekly basis.
I’ve been told to “take it as a compliment” or “ignore it.” But should I really have to allow people to say things to me that make me feel bad about myself? Nah. Besides, the definition of compliment is “an act or expression of praise, approval, respect, or admiration” (and I’d say the above comments don’t fall under that definition, they say, “there is something wrong with the way you look”).
All that being said - if you have a concern for a friend or family member about their weight or a possible eating disorder PLEASE talk with them! Eating disorders are NO JOKE and should never be ignored.
Lastly, for those who may actually have concerns for me, please know:
- I have a PCP and work closely with her to take care of me and my eating disorder recovery.
- I have a medical condition that makes it so I CANNOT eat a lot at a time without getting sick. I eat multiple small meals and healthy snacks throughout the day and am properly nourished. I also enjoy ice cream, chili dogs, and my candy stash in my drawer! It’s about balance in my diet and I have found a great one.
- I never in my life worried about my weight, or how my body looked to others until others drew attention to my body. I began to worry when I went to gatherings that people were watching what I ate (since I got comments about it regularly), or I just WAITED for the first person to say, “Oh my gosh you’re SO TINY” drawing unwanted attention to me - making me feel uncomfortable in my own skin.
- Exercise is actually REALLY GOOD for you even if you aren’t trying to lose weight. I hear it builds muscle and increases heart health. That’s awesome for me since heart disease and high cholesterol run in my family.
- I rarely (if ever) drink alcohol, and haven’t had fast food in years.
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